A Little Laughter After Tax Day

After tax day I always like to give a little laughter to those who pay large sums of money each year to Uncle Sam. We do live in the greatest country in the world, but on April 15th (or this year April 18th) we realize how much it costs to live in our great nation. While we do receive a lot of benefits for living here, we also get a little upset at some of the waste that Congress spends each year. So for a little fun, please enjoy some of the jokes below in the fun spirit they were meant to invoke and thanks again for making this a great tax season.


"Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it out to China."  —David Letterman


"I'm not going to pay taxes. When they say I'm going to prison, I'll say no, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we'll call it even." —Jimmy Kimmel


They say the threats people are making to the IRS are so bad that they are actually hindering the IRS's ability to threaten people." —Jay Leno


"Another one of President Barack Obama's nominees is having tax issues, which proves one thing: The Democrats like raising the taxes, but they hate paying them." —Craig Ferguson


IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.


“I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.” —Arthur Godfrey


“What’s the difference between a tax auditor and a Rottweiler? A Rottweiler eventually lets go.” —anonymous


“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.” —Farmer’s Almanac


“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?” —Peg Bracken


“I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.” —Michael McShane 


“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” —Albert Einstein


“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.” —George Bernard Shaw


The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Bible is only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913 to 7 million words today and difficult to read.


Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.


American taxpayers spend over $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.


The IRS employs 114,000 people — twice as many as the CIA and five times more than the FBI.


Ambition in America is still rewarded  — with high taxes.


America is still the land of opportunity  — everyone can become a taxpayer.


tt's hard to believe America was founded on avoiding high taxes.


Drive safely. Uncle Sam needs every taxpayer.



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